7-Ways To Support Someone In Prison
- thatbopguy
- May 31
- 3 min read
Updated: Jun 15
Let’s be real: when someone you love goes to prison, it doesn’t just happen to them — it happens to you too.
It’s a lot. And some days, it feels like too much.
But here’s the thing — your support matters more than you know. Even small acts of love on the outside can mean everything on the inside.
So if you’re wondering how to stay connected, help them keep hope, and take care of yourself too, here are 7 real ways to do it.
1. Stay in Touch — Even When It's Hard
Try to answer every phone call even if it's for just a few minutes. Write, it doesn't have to be a novel. A quick letter. A short email. Any one of these days to them “I’m still here.”
That little moment of love reminds them what life is about. It keeps them going. Or get creative and learn the lingo of federal inmates
2. Send a Piece of the Outside In
Share books, articles, anything that brings in light from the outside world. Just double-check what the facility allows first (because rules vary and can be ridiculous).
If they’re trying to learn or grow, sending materials they care about shows you believe in who they still are — not just what they’ve been through.
3. Celebrate The Dates That Still Matter
Even When locked up, life keeps happening. So should the love. Birthdays. Anniversaries. The day they passed their GED or completed a program. These memories are often associated with "happy" memories which make them feel good.
When they are incarcerated behind those walls, positivity is hard to come by. So be that ray of happiness if possible. Speaking of hope, 100 inmates have a chance to be release dearly through Clement relief. We are watching closely too see who gets their sentences commuted.
4. Support Their Growth
Encourage them to take classes, read, journal, or join a group inside. Many facilities offer First Step Act programs where people can earn time credits and work toward coming home earlier.
If they’re working on themselves, remind them you’re proud. That motivation? It can change everything.
5. Take Care Of Yourself
This one's for you. Please don't lose yourself while holding everyone else up. You can’t carry this alone — and you don’t have to. It's easy to isolate yourself and hide from the world, but don't. Talk to people who get it. Vent. Ask questions. Share what’s working. Cry if you need to. At the end of the day your the anchor that keeps them grounded.
Our Fed Family Support Discord is full of people just like you — holding it down for their loved ones just like you.
6. Help Them - Don't enable them
What To Do:
Prison is expensive. Commissary, phone calls, hygiene items, it all adds up. This isn't including luxury items to help them get comfortable. If you’re able to send a little help now and then, that’s huge. But, if money’s tight... Oh well, they can figure it out
What NOT To Do:
Here's the truth... In Prison they have so much time to think and do nothing many people occupy themselves with toxic habits like gambling and doing drugs. $200/month is good money to survive. If he/she suddenly needs money is likely not for Essentials. Be conscious of your person, pay attention to how they talk, how often they call, etc. If you soaker they are using drugs don't help them but more.
7. Hold Them Accountable
In jail or prison you can forget what your capable of. What your purpose and responsibilities are. They are focused on just making it through the day as fast as possible. You still have emotional and financial needs. Life is still happening, kids still need to get to school.
Make sure they know that. Let them know you need support to. You need him/her to get back out to you as soon as possible. So express your expectations and needs. This gives them purpose, but also keeps them grounded in the reality of life beyond the walls.
ℹ️ READ: First Step Act Explained
Final Thoughts
None of this is easy. But if you’re still showing up, still loving someone inside, still fighting to keep your family together — you’re already doing something powerful.
Want a support system that actually gets it?
Join our Fed Family Support Discord — a real-time space where families like yours come together to share tips, encouragement, and honest truth about surviving the prison system.
